How Real Estate Professionals Can Achieve Holistic Success with Sandy Joy Weston

Mattias

(0:04) This is The WELLthy Investor Show, where we don’t just talk about your wealth, we also talk about your holistic health. (0:09) I’m your host, Mattias.

Erica

(0:10) And I’m Erica.

Mattias

(0:11) And this is The WELLthy Investor. (0:15) Welcome back to The WELLthy Investor. (0:17) I am honored to have my lovely co-host with me today.

Erica

(0:21) Thank you, it’s very nice to see you again as well.

Mattias

(0:25) It’s always better when you’re here, so I hope we can get more and more combined and less and less separated, but yeah, enjoy your contributions.

Erica

(0:37) Thank you, thank you very much.

Mattias

(0:39) We just came off of a rare date. (0:42) Fantastic, it was a lot of fun. (0:44) We went to a brewery and watched the Olympics for a little bit.

(0:48) And then we went out and had a nice meal.

Erica

(0:52) Yeah, our kids were begging for their favorite babysitter to come back because they said she lets them watch TV, which she swears that’s not all they do, and I don’t think it is. (1:04) But anyway, they’re excited to have us out of the house.

Mattias

(1:08) It’s a win-win, really.

Erica

(1:09) We were happy to do it.

Mattias

(1:11) Yeah, no, and we got to enjoy beer. (1:15) We got to enjoy wine. (1:16) I got to have a big steak.

(1:17) You had a nice fish. (1:18) And we kind of started just talking a little bit about food and alcohol. (1:23) I mean, we talked about in the podcast before about how we’ve cut back a lot of drinking and what that kind of looks like for us.

(1:33) I tend to be the kind of person that kind of goes all in and is all or nothing, or I tend to go into extremes. (1:41) So like I might have a plate of food that I really like, and I just want to eat more and more and more. (1:46) And it’s just kind of like, I’m an extreme person when it comes to that kind of stuff.

(1:52) But you’re a nice little, happy little, balanced little person. (1:55) And we wanted to chat a little bit about, I guess, nutrition and kind of our relationship with food. (2:07) Yeah.

(2:07) How do you approach, you know, restricting alcohol, restricting food or not? (2:15) I mean, what’s your approach to it?

Erica

(2:17) Okay, well, I can talk about how it is now because there, it’s not always been this way. (2:25) Because now I know my body really well and what food feels good. (2:29) So I know that I can’t eat right, right away in the morning because I’ll feel honestly kind of a little nauseous.

(2:36) And if I eat too much at a time, I’ll also feel nauseous. (2:40) I’ll eat different types of food, my stomach will hurt. (2:44) And so my body definitely has, it guides what I eat.

(2:50) And I don’t track my food. (2:53) I, and I don’t count calories and I don’t track macros. (2:58) But I do tend to eat pretty, I do tend to eat whole foods and fresh foods.

(3:06) I don’t actually eat a lot of vegetables. (3:08) If you would really look at it. (3:10) I really enjoy salad, but it’s really tough for me to get vegetables in.

(3:14) And I tend to just eat when I’m hungry. (3:17) I don’t really care when that is necessarily. (3:22) I just eat when I’m hungry and I eat until I’m full.

(3:26) And it’s pretty rare now that I would overeat and feel uncomfortable afterwards. (3:33) And I don’t often eat after dinner, but that’s just because I don’t tend to be hungry unless we’re having one of our evenings where we’re watching TV and we have wine and cheese and crackers. (3:44) And then that’s exactly what I want.

Mattias

(3:46) We gotta get those in every once in a while. (3:49) And I think that it’s nice. (3:51) We’ve found this balance.

(3:52) We found this routine with the alcohol part of it, where we are still able to enjoy the nice meal out with some wine or the occasional like crackers, cheese and watching something. (4:04) Cause it’s just been something that we’ve done forever, but it just, it feels more balanced now. (4:10) What you were talking about feels like it’s very, what’s the word?

(4:15) Intuitive, the intuitive diet.

Erica

(4:17) I would say that is how I eat.

Mattias

(4:19) I don’t think, at least my brain has not really connected to the stomach as well. (4:26) I don’t, something’s broken. (4:30) I don’t have, maybe I eat too fast.

(4:33) And so then I just eat way too much or I did, but I don’t, my body doesn’t complain as much.

Erica

(4:39) Can I say there’s some pretty strong messaging from your family that climbers overeat?

Mattias

(4:46) That’s true.

Erica

(4:47) I have heard that at almost every family gathering.

Mattias

(4:51) Yeah. (4:51) That’s the, maybe the nine people fighting over a few food, the scarcity mentality that you get what you can, almost like prison, like you’re guarding your plate. (5:05) But yeah, I think that you helped me realize that kind of pattern.

(5:09) And I don’t think it’s as bad anymore. (5:12) I have been doing some tracking, some macros. (5:16) Actually this quarter, I set a goal to track four days a week instead of having it to be like, I have to have a perfect diet, six out of seven days a week.

(5:28) And cause like even just having to track is really, it just can get overwhelming. (5:34) And I get, I don’t enjoy it. (5:36) It’s not, I think, and I think the goal from it would be to do it consistently enough to really understand what you’re eating so that you can then not track and you can just kind of feel out what is, what your body needs, what you’re needing to put into your body.

(5:51) So that’s the goal. (5:53) And for me, like, again, I’m not requiring myself to even hit my macros, to hit my calorie goals, et cetera, when I track. (6:00) It’s just to actually track for four days.

(6:03) So that’s an experiment. (6:04) I’m not saying it’s the right way or the best way, but I’m trying it out.

Erica

(6:09) Well, we had a conversation about it when you started doing that, because seeing somebody do that is kind of triggering for me. (6:17) I used to count calories. (6:20) I went on and off like with my fitness pal, counting calories.

(6:23) And then I also did like the portion size containers. (6:27) And it was, I can’t remember what my calorie was for the day, maybe 1500, but it was really low. (6:35) And I was constantly hungry and I was always feeling guilty about wanting more food.

(6:41) And it just was not a healthy pattern for me. (6:45) I just, I have always loved food and it’s been really tough for me to tell myself that I can’t have it. (6:52) And I hate that.

(6:54) And so anyway. (6:55) So sometimes we, well, when we talked about you doing it, I think I just asked you, like, I just don’t want to see it. (7:04) I don’t want it to be in my face all the time because it is still triggering for me.

Mattias

(7:09) Like you feel like you should be doing it.

Erica

(7:11) Yeah.

Mattias

(7:11) If you see me doing it.

Erica

(7:13) Yeah, yeah. (7:14) And.

Mattias

(7:15) Has that gotten better? (7:16) Because I don’t really conceal at this point, but it doesn’t seem like it bothers you currently as much.

Erica

(7:22) I would say it doesn’t make me feel like I should be doing it, but it still gives me like a really negative feeling in my gut.

Mattias

(7:29) Okay.

Erica

(7:30) When I see you doing it. (7:31) I just try to, I’m trying to give you the space to do it since it’s something that you’re interested in. (7:37) To live my best life.

(7:38) And not force you to put it away because it impacts me. (7:43) And I think we also talked about not talking about it in front of our children.

Mattias

(7:47) Yeah, that’s been important. (7:48) We don’t really want to imprint them that, you know, and I will say that like, I’ve been, this go around, there’s been times where I’ve like under eaten and from doing this tracking, cause I like, again, go to extremes. (8:03) I don’t feel like that’s been the case now.

(8:05) I feel like I’ve felt pretty good and have just been a little bit more intentional about what I’m eating. (8:11) So this time it feels a lot better than it has in the past.

Erica

(8:16) Yeah. (8:16) I would say there have not been any like bad foods. (8:21) We don’t talk about food in terms of good or bad or healthy or not healthy, or I can’t eat that anymore.

(8:28) We tend to talk about it with our kids in terms of energy and how much energy this food will give you for how long and what’s going to keep your belly full for longer and healthy in terms of having a bigger balanced diet. (8:44) But yeah, you and I do still approach food pretty differently.

Mattias

(8:49) And I envy your ability to be so in tune with your body. (8:54) I mean, I think that that has just been true since I’ve known you and yeah, it’s nice. (9:00) But again, I think that like what we don’t cut out sweets altogether, we don’t cut out carbs altogether.

(9:05) We will eat, you know, a nice hamburger and French fries or whatever and we will drink some beer, but it’s just kind of imbalanced, I guess, a little more balanced than normal or 90% of what we eat is fairly healthy.

Erica

(9:21) Yeah, I would say I probably didn’t arrive at a real balanced place until the last couple of years. (9:26) I think growing up, we always had a dessert. (9:29) I think almost every meal or they were always at like family dinners and we had those often and they were just easy to grab.

(9:39) And yeah, I don’t know, I guess it took me a long time to figure out what kind of food felt good and what pattern I guess felt good to me too.

Mattias

(9:50) One thing that’s really hard too with the kids is that I don’t want to take sweets away from them altogether, but there is a big impact on the sugar. (9:58) When they have sugar, there’s a huge, huge impact on their behavior and it can be hard, but I feel like it’s important for them to learn to navigate that world and not be restrictive. (10:11) Right, I mean, how do you feel about that?

Erica

(10:13) Yeah, yeah, I mean, I often tell them because they ask me how many of something can I have? (10:20) And sometimes I’ll give them a number if I know we’re heading towards bedtime or something. (10:23) And sometimes, like if we’re at a barbecue and they’re running around playing, I’ll say, you pay attention to your body and you stop when it feels like you need to stop.

(10:34) And then they’ll say, okay, so I’ll stop when my tummy hurts. (10:38) Like, no, I want you to stop before your tummy hurts. (10:41) If your tummy starts hurting, that means you’ve had too many.

Mattias

(10:44) At the cook, at the barbecue.

Erica

(10:47) Yeah, trying to help them recognize when they feel full and satisfied and not to stop when they have to.

Mattias

(10:54) And I think that’s worked. (10:55) I mean, I think that, you know, that doesn’t sound always perfect, but like I think they have talked about like feeling, I think I’ve had too much or I think I’ve had enough. (11:04) Like I’ve heard them say things like that, so.

Erica

(11:06) Yeah, yeah, they have. (11:08) And or to say, I don’t want any more of this, so I’m gonna wrap it up and put it in the fridge later. (11:13) Or like if they’re getting a little bit more ice cream, they’ll just say, I just want, you know, like a scoop instead of another full bowl.

Mattias

(11:22) Yeah, so our podcast today is with Sandy Joy Weston. (11:27) Sandy is not our typical guest. (11:30) Sandy is more focused on health and well-being mindset, but she was awesome.

(11:39) And we tied it into, you know, real estate sales or, you know, just being a, I mean, just life in general. (11:46) I mean, like we all, no matter what your background is, like it’s important to, she has good lessons for us.

Erica

(11:51) I think you can leave this podcast with a very, with a strong idea of something small that you could do to start your day and have it, have a big impact.

Mattias

(12:03) She is, has a TED Talk and she’s a published author, has two podcasts, has done a lot of cool stuff. (12:11) So please enjoy Sandy Joy Weston.

Erica

(12:17) Welcome Sandy, it’s good to have you.

Sandy Joy Weston

(12:19) Ooh, I can’t wait. (12:20) You know, I haven’t done two in a long time.

Erica

(12:22) Oh yeah?

Sandy Joy Weston

(12:23) Yeah.

Erica

(12:24) All right, this will be fun, this will be fun. (12:26) I, with a lot of my clients right now, we’re talking about the seasons that we’re in. (12:32) A lot of folks are wrapping up the summer season and starting to look into school, but I was curious what season you are in in your life right now.

(12:39) Are you beginning or ending or smack dab in the middle of something?

Sandy Joy Weston

(12:45) Oh my goodness, no one’s ever asked me that question. (12:49) To me, every day is like a new season. (12:52) I feel like I’m just getting started.

(12:54) Someone said, you know, Weston, you’re going to be 65. (12:58) Are you going to like retire in November? (13:01) I go, what are you talking about?

(13:02) I just scratched the surface what I want to accomplish. (13:05) I mean, I really do feel that way every single day of my life. (13:08) I feel like, okay, okay, what’s new?

(13:11) Like a squirrel, like what am I going after?

Erica

(13:14) Is that something new that you’ve come up on or has it always felt that way for you? (13:21) Always, always.

Sandy Joy Weston

(13:23) I’ve owned health clubs my entire life. (13:26) And so most of my staff was, for the most part, way younger than me. (13:30) And they would always say, why do you tell everybody your age?

(13:33) I said, because I want everybody to embrace it and not be ashamed of it. (13:37) I mean, I want to get old or I’m dead and I got a lot of stuff I want to do. (13:42) And I just kept thinking, well, every day, I’m going to wake up, have a routine and create a whole new life.

(13:49) And what I want to accomplish, I’m not going to look at a limitation for where I am. (13:54) You know, if my kids are grown, empty nesters, you know, it doesn’t, it’ll be something fun coming along.

Erica

(14:01) Yeah, I love that. (14:02) How does that feel? (14:05) Like when you talk about it like that and then you’re around all of your other friends who are also similar ages, are they in similar spaces or do you feel like your experience of life right now is unique to you?

Sandy Joy Weston

(14:17) Well, Erica, most of my friends are not my age. (14:21) So there you have it. (14:23) I have a lot of variations.

(14:26) So I have close friends in their 20s and their 30s and their 40s and their 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s. (14:32) The thing that we have in common is they’re willing to put up with me and my mindset because I could be nauseating with how excited I get about the littlest things. (14:44) And somebody who wasn’t like me, I don’t get rid of them.

(14:48) I don’t fire them. (14:49) I just maybe see them once a year or once a week.

Erica

(14:52) Not so often. (14:53) Right, right. (14:54) You’ve curated the folks that are around you.

(14:57) Yeah. (14:58) Awesome. (14:59) Well, you have been in the kind of fitness world, the health world, I think most of your career, almost all of your life and in many different ways.

(15:08) I was reading up on that a little bit and you’ve owned different fitness centers, but you’ve also been training. (15:14) I think you were also in charge of teaching Philly people a line dance.

Sandy Joy Weston

(15:23) Really? (15:23) Is that right?

Erica

(15:24) That’s right because- And you went around the city teaching that to people?

Sandy Joy Weston

(15:28) Yeah. (15:28) So in 2000, Philadelphia, we got the medal for the fattest city in the world. (15:36) Woo!

(15:37) Yay! (15:38) And at the time I owned a health club that was a couple of blocks from city hall. (15:42) So I thought I had to do something.

(15:44) And the mayor brought in a fitness art and she was lovely, but she was more in the health industry. (15:51) So you want to hear the story? (15:52) Oh, you want to hear the story?

(15:53) Yeah, definitely. (15:55) After months of persistence, you need my help, you need my help. (15:58) And I’m sitting there with the 12 apostles and they had some great ideas.

(16:02) They were cool, cool, cool, but it was all typical emails, blasters. (16:07) And something hit me, like the spirit hit me. (16:10) And I stood up, I said, these are all great ideas, but no one’s going to do any of them.

(16:16) I know what the city needs. (16:17) The city needs a line dance. (16:20) We love to dance.

(16:21) It’ll bring everybody together and we’ll have fun and get fit. (16:23) And then we sat down and I thought, what the hell was I thinking? (16:27) They’re going to kick me out here, but they liked the idea.

Mattias

(16:29) Oh, cool.

Sandy Joy Weston

(16:30) And so they said, do you have a dance? (16:31) I’m like, yes, I do. (16:33) Let me tweak it.

(16:34) Well, I had no dance. (16:36) I don’t even know why I said it, but I went back and it took me a week and I came up with a dance and then I presented it to them. (16:42) And they’re like, oh, we really liked that.

(16:44) It’ll bring the city, because I had Rocky moves in it, side to side shuffle, that everyone could do it. (16:50) The only little sticky Wiccan is I had to get the mayor to see it. (16:55) So for months, they couldn’t figure out how to get Mayor Street to see my line dance.

(16:59) And then they called me and like, Sandy, we have an idea. (17:02) The mayor is going to be in a South Philly restaurant with his team. (17:09) We want you to come.

(17:10) We’re going to invite you to dinner and then you’ll show the line dance. (17:14) I go, okay. (17:15) Does the mayor know I’m coming?

(17:18) Yeah. (17:19) I go, all right. (17:21) Well, it’s not my career.

(17:23) I have a political career. (17:25) If that’s what you want me to do. (17:26) So I went to this little restaurant in South Philly with the 12 people eating my rigatoni and meatballs.

(17:33) And I was getting ready to get up and do the dance, right? (17:36) I brought my little boombox and I created it to, let’s get loud by Jennifer Lopez, but then we were going to have to recreate it with Leon Huff. (17:44) But this woman knocks me on the shoulder and says, Sandy, I saw you brought a boombox.

(17:52) You do know the mayor and the fitness czar met at a Seventh-day Advent church and they don’t support dancing. (18:05) I go, what? (18:06) What?

(18:08) Yes, they’re not about dancing the Seventh-day Adventist. (18:11) So I’m like, okay, okay. (18:13) I’m going to kill her.

(18:14) Like, what is going on here? (18:16) And so I was with my boyfriend. (18:18) He’s like, you got to get up.

(18:18) I’m like, I’m not getting up there. (18:20) No way, no way, no way. (18:22) And then Gwen, the fitness czar was like, Sandy, Sandy, you have to get up.

(18:25) And then I thought about it. (18:26) Like, if she wanted me to get up, maybe there’s some not truth to that. (18:30) And it was really family-friendly.

(18:32) So I get up, did the dance, got the rest of it up, dancing, hooting and hollering. (18:36) And then I sat back down. (18:38) I thought I saw the mayor smile, maybe.

(18:41) But after what seemed like hours, it probably was a few minutes, he said, you done good, kid. (18:46) And I was like, oh my God. (18:48) I’ve seen Mayor Street, because we’re going to name it the Philly Street Line Dance.

(18:52) And then, guys, what happened after that was crazy. (18:54) So this dance took off. (18:56) We were on every major news station.

(18:59) I was on the front cover of the New York Times. (19:03) Closed down Market Street. (19:04) We had firemen dancing all over on their fire trucks.

(19:07) It just went all. (19:08) I even did it at the age of 40. (19:11) I performed the dance for the 76th Dance Team.

(19:13) Holler. (19:14) Yeah, that’s so fun. (19:15) So anyhow, to answer your question, I had a blast and it was amazing and it took off more than I expected.

(19:24) And for me, the moral of the story is sometimes things don’t have to be that difficult to really work. (19:29) I was so passionate and so filled with joy and loved doing it and created something that the kids were doing it in schools, high schools, in hospitals. (19:38) It seemed so simple, but had such a massive impact, which is what I actually just went to the city last week to City Hall to meet with the new team, because I want to create a new dance for the 250th anniversary of our country.

(19:53) I want to create a dance for Philly. (19:56) Oh, cool. (19:58) I just have to come up with a dance still.

(20:00) I don’t have the dance.

Mattias

(20:01) Yeah, yeah. (20:03) That didn’t stop you before.

Erica

(20:04) It didn’t stop me, it didn’t stop me. (20:06) Right, that might be the key. (20:08) Go in with nothing.

Mattias

(20:09) Well, it’s really impressive to me that it seems that you are not scared to take on stuff that a lot of people would be very scared. (20:18) I’m sure you feel nervous about things from time to time, I would imagine.

Sandy Joy Weston

(20:21) Oh my God.

Mattias

(20:23) But you throw yourself into it, and you throw yourself with, to me, it seems like your whole heart. (20:29) Was there a time where you were employed, or you’ve said you’ve owned health and fitness clubs, et cetera, for a long time, but was there a time where you were employed and you had to take that leap of faith into owning your own business, being self-employed?

Sandy Joy Weston

(20:43) So, little backstory in why I’m relentless and I don’t really care, is I grew up in the projects, and my mom spent most of her life in mental institutions, God bless her soul. (20:58) So, no one expected me to do anything. (21:01) They were just, be grateful to graduate high school, you’ll be the first one in your school to graduate high school from the projects.

(21:10) Marry, be a waitress, pump gas, whatever. (21:12) And that’s all great, I had a good time doing all that. (21:16) But I had bigger plans.

(21:19) So, for me, anything I did, if I wasn’t an alcoholic or a drug addict, it was a bonus, right? (21:27) I didn’t have any pressure to be anything or do anything. (21:31) And I was very fortunate that at a very young age, even though the school didn’t believe in me or the relatives didn’t believe in me, I had this posse that, my project peeps, I call them, but we would sit on the picnic benches that were scattered throughout the projects, and these young people believed in me.

(21:51) And we’re talking like the drug dealer, the alcoholic, the prostitute, the rock and roller. (21:57) They’re like, no, you’re not doing any of this. (21:59) And I was nine when I moved to the projects, we have hope in you.

(22:02) So, you know, they say the people you surround yourself with is your life. (22:06) Well, it was completely the opposite. (22:08) They wanted me to propel forward when everyone else was like, don’t even apply to college, whatever, whatever.

(22:14) So I ended up, because of them, get, you know, pushing with going to dance school, my dance instructor believed in me, getting a scholarship to dance. (22:25) And that took me from a scholarship into dance. (22:28) You know, I was waitressing and pumping gas, you know, in addition to that, that I ended up getting a job at a health club teaching aerobic fitness classes in the suburbs of Philly.

(22:39) And there were a lot of who’s who there. (22:43) And the people in my class really liked me and liked my energy. (22:47) And they said, well, will you come in my house and train me in my home?

(22:51) And at the time they weren’t doing that. (22:52) I’m like, okay. (22:53) And they were willing to pay me a lot of money.

(22:55) I’m like, woo hoo. (22:56) So I started training everyone and anyone that had a name in Philly, you know, every star, everybody. (23:06) And they saw something in me that I didn’t, but to them, it was refreshing.

(23:12) I didn’t care who you were. (23:14) I don’t want anything from you. (23:16) I’m just here to give you what you want.

(23:20) I want to serve you. (23:22) And I was all about mission was to spread joy and whatever you hired me for come hell or high water, that’s what I was giving you. (23:30) And they found that refreshing that I didn’t want to get in this store, get this place.

(23:35) And I wasn’t trying to manipulate them. (23:36) So because of that, my training company built to like I hired 15 trainers to work for me. (23:42) And from there, they’re like, you should open a health club.

(23:44) I’m like, okay. (23:45) And it took me three years later, but I had, you know, the people that get to know me, owner of the Flyers willing to help me and guide me, you know, and Pat Croce owned physical therapy companies and Brian Roberts, who was CEO of comp, like all these people, and that’s just a few that were willing to take me under their wing because they loved that I was willing to work my butt off. (24:09) I didn’t want anything from them.

(24:13) And they saw this passion in me to just get the most out of people and spread joy. (24:20) And so they kept wanting to invest to me. (24:22) And I’m like, no, I’m good.

(24:23) I’m good, whatever. (24:24) So I opened up one health club and then that led to another health club. (24:28) And then that led to another.

(24:30) And it was all the same thing. (24:31) Like, no, I’m good. (24:33) You know, I’m good where I am.

(24:34) But then when the opportunity came up, I dove all in. (24:41) But the reason I think for some of my friends, I said that they may not have been willing to take risks. (24:46) I’m like, what are you gonna do?

(24:47) I’m broke. (24:47) I have no money. (24:48) Well, I was happy and had pure joy with no money.

(24:51) So I’m nothing to lose. (24:52) And I didn’t have a lot of my wealthiest clients’ kids. (24:56) You know, they felt like they had to live up to their parents.

(24:59) Like, I got nothing. (25:03) I’m great. (25:04) Like, so every day I wake up and I feel like I don’t have that pressure on me, if that makes sense.

Mattias

(25:11) Yeah, well, I wanna tease out one of the things you said there, one of the fundamental things that you just addressed. (25:17) And I think it’s true in probably most business fields, but certainly if you’re a realtor, if you’re an agent, where if you really put the other person first, if you really are seeking their best interest or having them to have a great experience, you’re gonna naturally grow. (25:34) That’s the right way.

(25:35) Because a lot of times people are a little bit short-sighted and are thinking about that one transaction or transactional. (25:42) And if you sacrifice their experience, if they have a bad taste in their mouth and they leave that operation with you, that spreads too. (25:50) So if you would rather maybe earn a little bit less money, depending on the situation, you might have to pay for something.

(25:56) But if they become your raving fan, which it sounds like you had a ton of raving fans, then your business just grows. (26:06) So that’s kudos to you to finding that early, really focused on the other person, focused on giving them the best experience they possibly can have.

Erica

(26:16) What was that like for you to have that shift from nobody expected anything from you to we know you’ve got it and we wanna hire you because you’re the best and that message change?

Sandy Joy Weston

(26:35) I can’t believe I’m getting emotional because that’s an amazing question, Eric. (26:39) And no one’s ever asked me that. (26:44) I feel that I thought I was the luckiest girl that ever walked this planet.

(26:54) To have these people, they truly cared about me and loved me and saw something shining in me that the people back home, well, they weren’t able to see it because that’s just where they were. (27:12) And I wasn’t in that environment. (27:14) It was just like the most magical thing in the world.

(27:17) And to this day, I’m not saying if somebody else looked at my life, they would think this, but I think I am one of the most fortunate people in the entire world because I have so many people that love me, even though they’re not blood family, but willing to support me in whatever I do. (27:38) And I don’t take that lightly. (27:41) But I wanted to address what, and I wanna make sure, because I looked it up by how to pronounce your names.

(27:46) Is it Matthias or Matthias or Matthias?

Mattias

(27:49) You got it, yeah. (27:49) No worries.

Sandy Joy Weston

(27:51) I have a lot of friends that are realtors and the ones that I know, four of them, that are really kicking buck, it’s because it’s the end game. (28:01) They truly want to do it for the client. (28:04) And sometimes, like for me, it’s not instant.

(28:07) It’s not instant gratification. (28:10) You’re paying the long, the end game. (28:12) And it may take a little longer.

(28:14) And there was many times people thought I was looking through rose-colored glasses because people were gonna screw me over and that’s not what life is about. (28:22) But in the end, it all worked out. (28:24) Now, would I have made more money?

(28:26) I don’t know. (28:27) Maybe. (28:28) Did I get screwed over at times?

(28:29) Yes. (28:30) But in the long run, I still was very, very successful and had a well-balanced life and family.

Mattias

(28:39) Well, and it’s probably that theory of abundance, right? (28:42) I mean, you are treating everybody with abundance. (28:45) You’re bubbling over.

(28:46) I mean, that’s like you exude happiness, joy, all that kind of stuff. (28:53) It’s very apparent in this and I’m sure people respond accordingly. (28:56) So I mean, I think that’s just the way things work.

(28:59) If you’re giving a lot, you’re gonna get in return without even asking for it.

Sandy Joy Weston

(29:05) Absolutely. (29:07) And they taught me, they’re like, Sandy, you don’t even get it, but we can see when people manipulate us. (29:15) We’re not stupid.

(29:16) We know when they’re trying to be like, how’s your dog and how’s your kid? (29:19) But they really don’t give a crap. (29:21) They’re just trying to get that meeting, get that deal, but get the cow.

(29:24) We can see when they’re playing us. (29:27) Absolutely. (29:28) I remember that.

(29:29) They’re like, just be straight. (29:31) If you want, like, yo, you come in for the meeting. (29:33) Listen, I want that deal.

(29:34) I want that client. (29:35) You know I’m the best. (29:36) I want that speaking gig.

(29:38) Yeah, they’re good, but you know I’ll be better. (29:41) And that’s how I play the game. (29:43) If I want something, I’m not dancing around to get it.

(29:47) I’ll go, yo, who do you know? (29:49) Erica, come on, get me that gig.

Erica

(29:52) Well, that too, I bet I would put money on. (29:55) It probably comes too from starting in the projects and having to fight for every single thing you wanted from the get-go. (30:02) Anything you wanted, you had to, you were climbing uphill to begin with.

(30:07) Yeah. (30:07) You had to be a little scrappy.

Sandy Joy Weston

(30:09) Yeah, I was scrappy. (30:11) And the other thing is, when my brother and I would start visiting my mom in the mental institutions, and my brother was older, but it was tougher on him, I would always say, well, how can I take this environment and make it the most fun possible? (30:32) And bring them joy at the same time.

(30:34) And so I would tell my brother, well, I’m gonna make a fool of myself. (30:38) So you’re gonna like that, cool, cool, cool. (30:40) Mom’s gonna make you moccasins and I’m definitely gonna dance and get kicked out of there.

(30:44) He goes, okay. (30:45) So when I would go there, I’d wait until they were gathering to get their medicine. (30:50) Now, keep in mind, I started when I was nine going there and I’d go around and I would try to pull their medicine off their little chairs.

(30:57) They had these little cups, dumb cups. (30:59) And I’d say, you don’t need that. (31:00) Just watch me.

(31:01) I’ll bring you joy. (31:03) And that’s the city dancing for the mayor. (31:07) And I’d push the button on the boom box, throw my tap shoes and dance away.

(31:10) And I was able to see at a very young age, guys in a minute, how I shifted their energy and gave them hope. (31:20) And by the way, not everyone belonged in there because it was a poor institution. (31:24) Some people were just misunderstood or poor.

(31:26) Not everybody was cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. (31:29) And so I was able to see that so young and how you could shift someone’s energy and shifting someone’s energy and mindset was the most important thing. (31:40) And then whatever else you wanna do in life.

(31:42) So when people are like, oh, I’m gonna work this hard. (31:44) I got these tasks. (31:45) I wanna build this business.

(31:47) And they’re not dealing with the mindset first. (31:50) It just didn’t make sense to me because the mindset is the most important thing. (31:55) Like before you get up every day, before you send those emails, before you go after that job, before you go after that listing, where’s your head?

(32:05) And did you spend a minute or three minutes getting into that headspace? (32:08) So that’s why I do that for a living. (32:10) Cause I thought, hey, if I can affect those people in that poor asylum, I can do it anywhere, man.

Erica

(32:19) Yeah, absolutely.

Mattias

(32:20) How do you keep your energy up? (32:23) I mean, what do you do for yourself and what do you recommend for people to make sure that they have the right mindset, they’re going through the day with the right foot forward?

Sandy Joy Weston

(32:32) I’m so glad you asked that because I just did a TEDx on it recently.

Mattias

(32:38) Nothing.

Sandy Joy Weston

(32:39) The three minute shift every day using movement, words, and laughter. (32:46) So again, back to what I saw worked. (32:49) Every single day of my, I didn’t know this by the way, when I was a kid.

(32:53) I didn’t know I was doing movement, words, and laughter. (32:56) Every day I would dance to get into a positive, powerful mindset, like put on my jam for even a minute. (33:02) And then, I don’t know why I came up with this, I would focus in on one word.

(33:07) How do I want to show up today? (33:08) And I’d pick some word like fun, powerful, ease and flow, confident, and I would write the word down. (33:16) And then I would find something to laugh about.

(33:18) Even if I just laugh for no reason, I’d be like, ah! (33:22) And I would do that every single day. (33:25) And then I would visualize what I want to accomplish or achieve.

(33:30) Fast forward, I was doing that with my clients and not even knowing I was doing. (33:35) I was using to a certain extent, movement, words, and laughter. (33:40) I teach, everything I teach is things you can do in one to three minutes a day because I truly believe, yes, you can take longer, but even just starting your day with a minute to three minutes before you run out the door can be mind-blowing.

(33:55) So let’s say, for example, you’re lying in bed, you don’t have time, you might or may not have three kids, two, four, and seven. (34:02) So, you know, your game’s on, right? (34:05) You know, your daughter’s gonna take care of it.

(34:07) Okay, so if you lie in bed and you just take a few deep breaths in and out, and then, how do you want to show up today? (34:16) And depending on what your day is, oh, I need to show myself grace, I might be powerful, whatever, that’s it. (34:23) And then as soon as your feet hit the floor, I’m not saying you have to break out and do a dance, but just even moving head, shoulders, knees, and toes, just moving, get your body moving quickly just for a few seconds.

(34:35) You run downstairs or wherever your piece of paper is, and you just write down your word for the day. (34:43) That’s it, so you move for a few seconds, right? (34:46) You thought about your word, you write it down, you look at anything that makes you smile.

(34:51) You know, whether it’s your cat, your dog, your kids, whatever, or you just laugh out loud for no reason. (34:57) And that already puts you in a positive, powerful mindset. (35:02) And there’s so much literature on just one minute of movement and what it does to your body.

(35:06) But now, throughout the day, every hour, you think, am I coming from power? (35:11) Am I coming from calm? (35:13) And then most people say, hell no, how do I get off that track?

(35:16) And then what could you do to get back in there? (35:18) It’s so simple, it’s so, so simple. (35:21) Now yes, there’s other things you could do, you know, more journaling, more movement, but I teach people first to be so consistent in that minute to three minutes that you do every single day, and then you can add on, journal more, work out more, because that’s the most important thing.

(35:40) If you don’t have time to do the 20 or 30 minute journal, great if you meditate, awesome, but that’s the most important thing, those tiny little things that you do every single day, consistently to remind you of how you wanna show up. (35:54) That’s what I would challenge people, don’t, nothing crazy. (35:58) If you have a routine, kumbaya is routine working for you.

(36:01) Do you feel joy inside? (36:03) Because happiness is outside things, like you sold that home, you got that listing, you helped the client, and those are great, but that’s external. (36:12) What are you doing for yourself internal so that you can show up with more joy every day?

(36:17) And I’ve been doing it since a kid, so I don’t know any other way. (36:20) Like, I get angry, I yell, I scream, ask my husband and my son, any given moment, like, what do you mean you couldn’t take out the trash? (36:30) It’s flowing over with cat fins, but I just shift back in there quicker.

Erica

(36:36) Yeah, yeah. (36:37) Well, and essentially what those three things are doing (36:39) is creating an anchor point that you can refer to (36:42) throughout the day to keep you focused (36:44) and to guide you and kind of propel you forward, (36:47) which essentially, it creates this container, (36:52) which, you know, containers are so helpful for us (36:54) in many different ways, (36:55) and we don’t feel like we have even, (36:58) like, as basic as, like, a home, the walls around us, (37:01) or any sense of identity, (37:03) or we can go into many different things, (37:05) but just having those three things (37:08) creates a very simple container to guide us through the day, (37:12) which can help you feel grounded (37:14) if you’d feel nothing else.

Sandy Joy Weston

(37:17) Yeah, absolutely. (37:19) And it seems that people say, well, what do you get the biggest resistance on? (37:26) It seems so simple, it can’t work.

(37:29) You know what I mean? (37:29) Like, how can a minute to three minutes really change me? (37:33) And by the way, when I was originally doing my journal books, I studied people from all walks of life, all businesses, guys that I felt exuded pure joy.

(37:43) And I studied them for a year, and I bribed them with trainings and memberships. (37:49) And I wanted to see, was there something they all had in common? (37:53) And it was almost like 11 months in, I couldn’t see something, but then there it was.

(37:58) The main thing was that every single one of them did something before they walked out in the day. (38:04) Life wasn’t gonna happen to them, they were gonna happen to life. (38:07) And the routines were all different.

(38:08) It could have been making lists, it could have been playing jazz music, baking muffins, and it could have been two minutes to two hours, but nothing was more important than how they felt. (38:20) So that’s where I got the idea, well, what if people don’t do that? (38:24) And I wanted to create guidebooks and journals.

(38:27) So I went out again and I gathered my 12 apostles that would give me credibility. (38:34) I brought in positive psychologists and neuropsychologists and exercise physiologists and sports leaders, gurus and spiritual leaders, because I wanted to have the credibility, the science behind this mindset and this guidebook and writing it down. (38:48) And so we spent another year, I took forever, because back then people weren’t doing it.

(38:55) Now everyone’s journaling, but back then they were like, oh, that doesn’t even make sense. (38:59) So I took another year and I spent, I think maybe I got another 200 people. (39:06) And I had a guidebook that would take five minutes a day.

(39:10) So we came up, the powers that be, came up with a guidebook that would take five minutes a day. (39:15) And only a handful of people did it. (39:17) Nobody did it.

(39:18) And these were highly successful people that came to the gym. (39:20) They were very motivated. (39:22) And I was devastated.

(39:24) And so I went back to some of my guides and they’re like, listen, Sandy, no one’s going to do something that takes five minutes a day unless they already have that belief system. (39:35) You have to make it one to three minutes a day. (39:37) I’m like, well, why didn’t you tell me that?

(39:40) And they said, we thought you should find that on your own.

Erica

(39:44) Oh, geez.

Sandy Joy Weston

(39:46) Okay, so that’s what I mean. (39:48) They said, because if they don’t believe it, they’re more willing to go, all right, I’ll give you one to three minutes a day.

Mattias

(39:56) Yeah.

Sandy Joy Weston

(39:56) And so that’s why it became one three minutes a day. (39:59) And like I said, it could be then five, 22 hours, but at least they were willing to do and see, oh my God, if I do this for a minute, three minutes a day, it really does make a difference.

Mattias

(40:10) I love that because that is so simple. (40:13) I have gone through phases of doing the miracle morning in the morning and it always has a great impact. (40:21) I mean, you give me that affirmation that if I’m doing it consistently, that you notice a difference in me.

(40:28) And, but that takes a long time. (40:30) That’s a good amount of stuff to do. (40:33) This is a lot more simple.

(40:35) And going back further, I remember when I first started reading self-help books or that kind of space, those kinds of books, the whole idea of like affirmations and that kind of stuff just felt so hokey to me. (40:47) I was like, this is dumb. (40:48) This is really dumb.

(40:49) But once you actually get into it and you actually realize you’re just like priming your pump. (40:55) You’re just priming your brain to see the things that you want your brain to see. (41:00) So if you are wanting to, yeah, if you’re wanting to be powerful or whatever that day, like that is a great way to prime yourself to be that, to see that.

(41:09) And I think that’s such a problem for so many people is that they prime their pumps for negative stuff. (41:14) They can only see the negative stuff in their lives. (41:16) And then that’s all they notice.

(41:18) And then they hold themselves back. (41:19) And so, that’s awesome. (41:21) I mean, that one to three minutes seems a lot more manageable.

Sandy Joy Weston

(41:25) I love that you shouldn’t do the miracle morning. (41:27) It’s just that you have to be consistent for it. (41:30) Like saying to someone, I made a living off gyms.

(41:35) I can tell you how many people join New Year’s. (41:38) It is true. (41:39) They join a New Year’s in three, six.

(41:41) I tried to get rid of that, but a lot of people do because they come out from calf potato to seven days a week. (41:48) And it’s just, you can’t hold that.

Mattias

(41:50) That’s sustainable.

Sandy Joy Weston

(41:51) Right. (41:51) But if you do that and you see that and then you’re inspired, not because you should, but you want to do the longer meditation, the miracle morning and all that. (42:01) It’s amazing.

Mattias

(42:02) Yeah.

Sandy Joy Weston

(42:02) But it’s because you want to do it from that place of I really want to do this. (42:07) And you’re consistent with the other. (42:10) Like really, really consistent with the other.

Erica

(42:12) So I would argue specifically for realtors, I feel like the schedule, the way that the job is set up for realtors, they have so much more work to do just to, how do I want to say this? (42:28) They’re fighting against more, even like in their job structure. (42:31) So like, so for somebody with a nine to five or who has an employer, they would go to work for a very set amount of time.

(42:39) So they have that container space for them there already. (42:42) There’s already very clear expectations on how to handle the problems that come up for the most part. (42:47) For realtors, they make their own schedule.

(42:50) They’re expected to balance their home and their work on their own. (42:54) Nobody gives a guidebook for that and everybody does it differently. (42:58) And then depending on what your relationship with your partner, if you have one, what that’s like, you have to figure out how to make that rhythm work for you.

(43:07) And then that changes depending on the season and what the clientele is like and what the market is like. (43:12) And then you also have the stress of the market depending on where that is. (43:16) And so there’s all of these factors that are constantly changing.

(43:20) There’s nothing consistent. (43:23) Fair?

Mattias

(43:24) Fair.

Erica

(43:25) Okay. (43:25) I’m not a realtor, so I just need to check in with the realtor to make sure this is all right. (43:31) But then, along with that, I feel like they’re already working really hard just to be okay mentally in the job and in their life.

(43:40) And so then to add something like this that’s just small enough that could impact every single one of those decisions as they figure out how to deal with their day with all these different dynamics could be so powerful for them.

Sandy Joy Weston

(43:55) And like I said, I have so many realtor friends and I was just down the shore with a couple. (43:59) And then one of my friends invited another realtor and I didn’t say anything about what I did, but she ended up listening to my TEDx. (44:09) And she came up the next morning.

(44:11) She’s like, that’s it, Weston. (44:13) I listened to your TEDx. (44:15) No one’s stealing my joy.

(44:17) I was like, okay. (44:20) She was on phone calls and all that. (44:21) She’s like, no, I can pick up the phone.

(44:24) I’m not gonna fear. (44:25) And I said, well, listen, I didn’t say to lose that sale that you’ve been waiting for a year, not take the call on the beach. (44:33) I’ll take the call for you.

(44:35) I’m saying that it’s not complicated. (44:39) All you have to do is take a few seconds and a minute or two minutes and you can reset yourself, but it’s gonna take a little time. (44:47) You can do it throughout your day because I get it.

(44:50) And I watched three of them go from happy, happy, joy, joy, to like, muh.

Mattias

(44:57) Yeah.

Sandy Joy Weston

(44:58) And someone taking a sale and all that. (45:00) And there’s a lot of, like any history, but it seemed like a lot of backstabbing going on at times, depending on what agency you’re with or not. (45:09) I called it the wild, wild West because I’m like, where’s the guidelines?

(45:15) Who’s telling you you can’t do that? (45:17) Yeah. (45:20) They’re like, nobody’s watching, whatever.

(45:22) So for them more than ever, I feel as if they, you’re right, they needed tiny little things, but they all seem to be convincing that it will work and it’s gonna make a difference because, you know, the other friend is out meditating for two hours and going to Pilates for another hour and a half, no half, no wonder she’s happy, you know? (45:43) Yeah. (45:43) Going to the beach for another hour, you know?

(45:46) Yeah. (45:46) But I still think that, well, I know it can have a huge, huge impact. (45:52) So, but it takes 30 days.

Erica

(45:54) Yeah. (45:54) Well, and I think sometimes to get perspective, you almost have to pull yourself out of the situation for a minute so you can look at it from the outside in. (46:03) Like, you know, we feel that when we go on vacation and we’re like, oh, this feels great.

(46:06) I’m gonna change some things or whatever, or travel internationally. (46:09) But for a realtor, they don’t even get a weekend. (46:12) And so it’s tough to pull your head out of it to think through, what could I do differently?

(46:17) Or what do I need to change? (46:19) Because it’s just so fast paced, one thing after the next.

Sandy Joy Weston

(46:23) So Mateus, what do you do? (46:24) What do you do?

Mattias

(46:25) Well, one thing that sounds- What hasn’t he done is a better question. (46:29) One thing that sounds a little bit bad if you’re a client of mine listening, but I’ll explain is, there’s the book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F. (46:41) Haven’t actually read the book.

(46:43) I’ll preface it. (46:44) But the title, it came out at a time where I was extremely beaten down from sales. (46:52) And I took every single transaction personally.

(46:55) I took everything to heart. (46:57) And I wanted nothing more than to be a top, not to be a top agent, but I just wanted to be successful in the business. (47:03) I wanted my clients to be happy.

(47:05) And so it just wore me down. (47:07) And there was a distinct point that I just realized, you know what? (47:11) I’m not, by getting this emotionally invested in these deals, I’m not actually giving my clients better service.

(47:16) I’m probably providing them worse service. (47:19) And I need to realize that I have to separate and do the best I can for my clients, but not let it drag me down. (47:28) So I kind of adapted that mantra a little bit where I just, you know what?

(47:35) This is clearly what I can do in this situation. (47:38) If the deal falls apart, the deal falls apart. (47:40) And this is one of the things too, that I think is one of the blessings of being busier once you get a more established business going is that you’re not as dependent on one sale.

(47:52) It’s not as big of a deal. (47:52) You realize they come and go. (47:54) If the buyer backs out of a contract, you’re gonna sell them another house.

(47:56) If the listing falls apart, you’re probably gonna resell it. (47:59) It’s gonna just maybe take a little bit more time. (48:03) But yeah, so I think that was one really big, pivotal moment for me in my business was just kind of letting it go a little bit.

(48:14) Just not being quite as emotionally invested to the point where I was, yeah, hurting myself and not doing as good of a job, if that makes sense.

Sandy Joy Weston

(48:24) It does, but do you, so are you able to take a week off?

Mattias

(48:29) I will say that my vacations have become better. (48:37) With the more understanding that things are gonna be okay, but no, not fully. (48:44) It’s definitely something that I’m working towards more.

(48:47) And then actually, I’m writing a book, and we’re gonna get into your books here in a moment, kind of laying out the foundation for agents to achieve more of that kind of balance where you would be able to take a week off more fully. (49:01) And that evolves, I suggest people invest in real estate as they grow their business so that they have more of a fun, like if all your expenses are covered, you maybe not feel as stressed and have a scarcity mindset about your business. (49:15) And you might be able to bring in more agents to help as you go.

(49:21) That could be a team, that could be managed a lot of different ways. (49:25) But basically, the goal is to get to a point where you don’t have to be on 100% of the time. (49:33) And I can’t say that I’ve fully gotten there.

(49:36) And that’s definitely one of the curses of being self-employed is I don’t know if you could ever fully let it go. (49:44) But we do a lot of things as well. (49:46) So we often work out CrossFit, we do CrossFit.

(49:50) And that happens in the middle of the day, and I make it a priority. (49:54) I get three to five times in a week. (49:57) It’s easiest when the kids are not in.

(49:59) So it’s like in the nine to five workday that most people would not be able to do it. (50:03) But that works best for me. (50:04) And I just work it into my schedule as much as I can.

(50:06) And that is a huge help for my sanity, my stress release, all that.

Erica

(50:14) Yeah, well, we just spent 16 days in Switzerland. (50:17) So, and that’s partially where Matthias is from. (50:21) So we were visiting family, but he had to work a good amount during that time.

(50:26) Like mostly, probably during the morning, you had a couple hours where you were working on things. (50:32) But it’s worked well. (50:34) And this has not always been this way, but he’ll tell me, you know, I need a couple of hours to get some things done.

(50:39) So I’ll know that I’m on with the kids. (50:41) And then the rest of the day, he’s able to be focused and present. (50:45) And he’s able to put it away.

(50:47) Whereas I think before, maybe when you had first started or in those first couple of years, you just felt like you had to respond to everything all the time.

Mattias

(50:55) Email comes in, text comes in.

Erica

(50:56) Yeah, and I would feel very overwhelmed. (50:58) Like I have to get that right now. (50:59) And then would feel like you were working all the time.

(51:01) So that’s been a big shift.

Mattias

(51:03) It’s not intentional time blocking, but I think that I don’t see my texts as like I need to respond to you right away or emails anymore. (51:10) And I, you know, I get back to people usually in a timely manner, unless something slips, but you just kind of have to, you know, being present in the moment, that’s been one of the things that I’ve tried to prioritize as well. (51:24) So if I’m with a client, they’re not going to like it if I’m taking phone calls, reading my text messages, reading my emails, they want me to be present with them.

(51:31) And so trying to be that with my clients and then they maybe understand then that that’s going to happen if they’re sending me a message, but also with my family as much as I can. (51:40) So those are some of the ways I’ve tried to navigate this crazy world.

Erica

(51:46) Yeah. (51:47) Hearing all of that, what would you, what are your thoughts? (51:50) What would you recommend?

Sandy Joy Weston

(51:51) And I love that what you did when you were away, I think what I’ve seen work and I’ve done it even myself is I tell my clients, they know I don’t keep my cell phone glued to me. (52:07) I don’t. (52:08) And even my friends, I’m not saying at times they haven’t gotten annoyed, but I let them know this is what I do.

(52:16) And this is the day, and I know you can’t probably, maybe you can’t do that as a realtor, but I mean, the health club business is a seven day a week business. (52:25) And what worked for me is I’m not taking calls on this day. (52:31) I’m not answering emails on this day, but when I am back the next day, I’m gonna be so present for you.

(52:38) And when I take your call, I’m all in, but I don’t feel that need to look at my phone, look at my phone, look at my phone. (52:46) And when I’m with my family, I’m truly with them. (52:50) I don’t have my phone with me.

(52:52) I put it on the side. (52:54) And have I missed deals? (52:56) Maybe a few.

(52:58) You know? (52:58) Maybe a few, because right now I do different speaking gigs and workshops. (53:04) And sometimes they’re like, I just wanna get it booked right now.

(53:07) But in the long run, I still wouldn’t change a thing. (53:11) You know, I feel better that I’m so present for my family or my friends and my client. (53:18) And I really do.

(53:20) This is the time I’m doing office work. (53:22) This is the time I’m answering texts. (53:24) If I’m on vacation, I love what I do.

(53:27) So when I was down the shore with my friends, I had a day that I blocked out, which was Thursday, for my clients. (53:33) That’s the day I was gonna be with my clients virtually. (53:38) Now, did I plan that that was the only day it rained?

(53:42) No. (53:44) But, I’m still standing up. (53:47) That’s too creepy.

(53:48) I’m like, thank you. (53:49) But, I like what I do. (53:55) I love what I do.

(53:56) I didn’t feel sad. (53:57) I wanted to work that day and stay in tune so they didn’t miss a week. (54:03) But I didn’t feel like, I was complaining like I had a sucky vacation.

(54:07) So when it comes to family, the same thing will go away next week. (54:11) And my husband’s in business for himself. (54:13) He’s a lawyer, but we say which days we’re gonna work and then which days we’re gonna be with family and friends.

(54:19) And you’re not gonna be able to do that. (54:20) You’re not complaining, like, oh God, I have to work. (54:23) Then shut up and don’t do it.

(54:24) I don’t have no time. (54:26) Plan it and then do it and then be grateful or don’t do it at all.

Mattias

(54:31) Yeah, being intentional.

Sandy Joy Weston

(54:33) Really, really intentional. (54:35) Different than when you’re starting out. (54:37) Like you said, I worked seven days a week when I first started my health club.

(54:41) I had no choice. (54:43) But I also wanted to. (54:45) Like, I didn’t have little kids yet.

(54:47) I was working, working, working, working. (54:49) Just like you, you have to build it until I was very, very fortunate that I built it up. (54:55) I had a great team, a great staff, and I didn’t have to go in.

(54:59) I had passive income because they were working for me and they were phenomenal. (55:04) And I was able to bring in a partner, but I was willing also to give up a large percentage of my business to bring in a partner because I wanted to be with the family and the kids. (55:13) Like, I wasn’t willing to sacrifice that.

Mattias

(55:15) That’s a hard part for a lot of self-employed people is starting to turn over the reins. (55:21) That’s a tough transition.

Sandy Joy Weston

(55:23) It is. (55:23) And what, did they do the same things as act like me? (55:27) No.

(55:28) Were there times that I go, but still in all, for me, I kept looking at the bigger picture. (55:34) I have to trust them. (55:36) Yeah, you can work with them, train them, educate them, but they’re still not going to be you.

(55:41) And my mentors taught me that. (55:43) They missed a lot of the time with their family. (55:46) They were mostly men, but they said, Sandy, we don’t want you to miss that.

(55:48) I almost took this big deal. (55:50) I remember with a TV station and they’re like, my son Cole was, I was pregnant eight months and I was like a dream come true. (55:57) They go, you’ll never see your son.

(56:00) You’ll never see your son. (56:01) And I’m like, but it’s, I’ll be famous. (56:04) Like, this is a great show.

(56:06) And they’re like, finish up. (56:07) And I didn’t take it. (56:08) And I’m like, thank God they talked to my son.

(56:12) You know, thank God, because I was able to then have my dream work and job and spend equal time with my family. (56:21) So.

Mattias

(56:22) That’s saying no, that’s a really hard thing. (56:25) And that’s an ongoing thing with real estate. (56:29) Like you can get a sense of that, this person that I’m about to work with is going to make my life difficult.

(56:35) And, or if you work with somebody for a while and to fire them, essentially, that’s a really hard lesson as an agent. (56:44) And there’s just times where it’s not worth it. (56:46) No matter, you know, if they are three times your normal sale, that what they’re going to buy or whatever, what they’re going to sell.

(56:53) Sometimes that stress is just not worth it. (56:56) The extra work you have to do and the extra mind space it’s going to take. (57:00) So that’s a tough lesson.

(57:03) I mean, I can imagine that was a really hard choice.

Sandy Joy Weston

(57:05) And it comes like with you, like you said, you built yourself up with confidence that your life is not depending on one sale, but what if you were? (57:14) And you had, you know, I mean, people out there that are realtors, like I have a friend, she’s nearly divorced. (57:19) She lost all the money.

(57:20) She’s got to support her kids. (57:22) I mean, I understand, you know, there’s times in your life that it’s hard to say no, even if, you know, they’re causing you.

Mattias

(57:31) Yeah.

Sandy Joy Weston

(57:32) It’s still hard. (57:33) Yeah.

Mattias

(57:34) It’s always hard. (57:35) Yeah. (57:36) It really is.

(57:38) Well, I wanted, so you mentioned you were on TED, so we can look up your name and find you on TED Talk?

Sandy Joy Weston

(57:42) Yeah. (57:43) That’s awesome. (57:44) Yeah.

(57:44) It just came out two months ago.

Mattias

(57:48) Oh, that’s super exciting. (57:49) I love TED Talk. (57:51) You have written three books.

(57:52) Is that right? (57:54) What are they called?

Sandy Joy Weston

(57:55) It’s all based on what we’re talking about, the one to three minutes. (57:58) So my first book was called Train Your Head, Body Will Follow. (58:02) The second was my 30 Day Reset, which was a shorter version of somebody that just wanted to work with journals and the books.

(58:09) And then recently I did one, oh my God, I did one for kids that 12 year olds recess to reset. (58:17) But guess what? (58:19) All the adults are using it.

(58:21) So, oh my God, whatever. (58:23) And it’s such a cool fun book that they’re like, no, no, no, this is great. (58:27) We want to use it.

(58:28) So now I’m in the process with my publisher, we’re doing a fourth one, which is the same one, but just marketing it differently for adults. (58:37) And they’re all about how do you get in a positive, powerful mindset? (58:42) What works for you?

(58:43) Because we talked about movement, words and laughter, but it doesn’t have to be that. (58:48) What routine works for you? (58:50) Yes, I do believe some sense of movement for a few seconds would be great and focusing in on a word or laughing, but there are different routines and finding one that resonates with you.

(59:04) But for me, I’m all about not being time consuming because I don’t want people to have those constraints on them. (59:10) Like saying I didn’t have time to journal. (59:12) I didn’t have time to meditate.

(59:14) Like I meditate when I’m mountain biking. (59:18) That’s when I have my best conversations with the universe. (59:21) So you should find what works for you.

(59:25) I know people that do it in the bathroom, in the shower, because their kids are always at them. (59:29) I lock the door, mommy’s go to the bathroom and I’m like, that works for me.

Erica

(59:35) Yeah, I started a one line a day journal because I can’t do any more than that because I won’t keep it up. (59:40) But it has helped me look back on the day and focus on things that I was grateful for or help reframe how I’m tucking that day away. (59:53) Essentially, it’s kind of the opposite of starting in the morning, but it’s been really helpful for me.

Sandy Joy Weston

(59:58) Well, this is every day. (59:59) This is what I do. (1:00:00) I get up, I do my little dance, I do a movement, then I focus on the word, I laugh about something and I check that off.

(1:00:11) So nothing you’re writing, movement, words, laugh. (1:00:12) Okay, move, laugh. (1:00:14) And then I breathe and I just take three breaths in and out.

(1:00:18) I breathe in love, I breathe out love, I breathe in joy, and I breathe out and I breathe in peace because those are the three things innately in us, peace, love and joy. (1:00:27) And then I just have a quick power statement. (1:00:30) Like I’m a powerful creator.

(1:00:31) I got this. (1:00:32) It’s quick, bring it on. (1:00:33) It’s nothing big deal.

(1:00:36) And then quickly, and I don’t say, it could be gratitude, what I’m grateful for, what I’m excited about. (1:00:43) Hey, yo, thanks for this because that’s the way I talk. (1:00:46) And I think of like my animals, cat, my dog, like it’s quick.

(1:00:52) And that is every single day. (1:00:54) And then I usually throw peace, love and joy to five people make me cringe sometimes and I want to calm down. (1:01:05) I throw love and I’m not feeling it in the family.

(1:01:08) So I’m like, okay, okay. (1:01:10) I’ll try to throw peace on them or if they really need it. (1:01:12) And so it doesn’t take long.

(1:01:13) And then other days I might write more of what I want. (1:01:18) But it’s always that, like consistently no matter what, every single day. (1:01:23) That little bit.

(1:01:25) And it’s more to remind me what I want in life and how I want to show up. (1:01:30) That’s what it is.

Mattias

(1:01:32) I love it. (1:01:32) You’ve talked about a lot of mentors that you’ve had in person. (1:01:36) Have you had any books or that really, really stuck out to you?

(1:01:39) Any books that have been fundamental to you or ones that you just currently really enjoy?

Sandy Joy Weston

(1:01:44) Is it gonna be weird if I get up just for one second?

Mattias

(1:01:47) No, go ahead.

Sandy Joy Weston

(1:01:50) I’ll be right back. (1:01:50) Wait, I didn’t have, I bombed some. (1:01:53) Okay.

Mattias

(1:01:55) She’s doing a dance right now. (1:01:57) I’m pretty sure off camera.

Sandy Joy Weston

(1:02:02) So first of all, for a self-help book, I love Louise Hayes’ Heal Your Life. (1:02:08) And it’s just a book that I’ve used since I was in my 20s to refer to tuning into my body. (1:02:15) You know, your body holds, you know, holds a score.

(1:02:18) I’m saying it wrong. (1:02:19) Your body keeps the score. (1:02:21) It’s just like that.

(1:02:22) Your body, if you listen to it, will tell you what’s going on mentally and physically and spiritually. (1:02:26) But I haven’t read just a book that wasn’t a business book, you know, or a self-help book. (1:02:33) They always tease me, how much help can you need?

(1:02:36) I got for the beach, it’s called Fox and I, An Uncommon Friendship. (1:02:41) And my son’s like, okay, mom, that doesn’t count because it’s actually based on a true story. (1:02:46) You were supposed to get a fiction, not non-fiction, but it’s so cool.

(1:02:53) This, it’s about her having a conversation with a fox and every day reading to the fox and the fox would come and sit next to her and listen. (1:03:04) I’m not gonna tell you anymore.

Erica

(1:03:05) Interesting, that’s cool. (1:03:06) What’s the medal that’s on there?

Sandy Joy Weston

(1:03:09) Oh, she got a literary award, the Pen America winner.

Erica

(1:03:14) Oh, cool. (1:03:15) I haven’t heard of that one. (1:03:17) Yeah, me either.

Sandy Joy Weston

(1:03:17) Katherine Graven.

Erica

(1:03:19) Okay, cool.

Sandy Joy Weston

(1:03:19) She really did, she would sit every day and read different passages to this fox. (1:03:23) Isn’t that cool? (1:03:24) And we have two boxes underneath one of our bushes.

(1:03:28) So maybe I’ll go out and read to them. (1:03:30) No, go out and read the book to the fox. (1:03:33) No, don’t eat my cats, don’t eat my cats.

Mattias

(1:03:37) What is a great place for people to find you, to buy your books? (1:03:42) We know YouTube would be TED Talks, I’m sure. (1:03:46) But yeah, is there a website, social media that you use?

Sandy Joy Weston

(1:03:49) So let’s start with the first. (1:03:51) My website is my name, sandyjoywestin.com and Westin is with an O-N. (1:03:57) And if you go there, you can find everything.

(1:03:59) You can find my podcast, you can find books, you can book me for speaking gigs or workshops. (1:04:06) So there’s speaker tap, there’s everything on my website. (1:04:09) The easiest way to buy any of my books and journals now, everything is on Amazon.

(1:04:15) So you can find everything on Amazon. (1:04:19) And then, I’m all over social media. (1:04:22) I do daily joys and silly little things that make me happy.

(1:04:27) And I do it on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram. (1:04:32) Sandy Joy Westin again, same thing.

Mattias

(1:04:35) Easy enough. (1:04:36) Yeah, that’s great.

Erica

(1:04:37) Yeah, and I don’t think we talked about, or maybe we did mention YouTube podcasts, but I noticed you can find those on Apple, Spotify, and I’m missing one, YouTube?

Sandy Joy Weston

(1:04:45) Yeah, YouTube. (1:04:46) And they’re on my website too. (1:04:48) And one is for just women.

(1:04:50) I started it five, six years ago for women around the world that felt like they weren’t being heard. (1:04:56) And it’s called, Hey, I Got Something to Say, which I love. (1:05:00) Love it.

(1:05:01) I show, you never know what you’re gonna get. (1:05:03) And then the other one I’ve been doing for 16, 17 years is when it was a radio show and it’s called Let’s Keep It Real. (1:05:13) And that’s where I highlight men and women from around the world that are making a positive, powerful difference in the world.

Erica

(1:05:19) So it’s cool. (1:05:20) Cool, that’s awesome. (1:05:21) Great.

(1:05:21) I love it. (1:05:22) Well, thank you, Sandy. (1:05:23) I appreciate it.

Mattias

(1:05:24) Yeah, thanks so much for being on. (1:05:26) Thanks for listening to The WELLthy Investor podcast where we talk about wealth and holistic health. (1:05:30) If you enjoy our content, subscribe wherever you get your podcasts to hear new episodes every Thursday.

(1:05:35) If you really like our content, you can follow us on social media at The WELLthy Investor, wealthy spelled W-E-L-L-T-H-Y.